


Flickered In My Mind for Only You

by ShunAkke



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6940084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShunAkke/pseuds/ShunAkke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Bucky is looking at Steve in a way he can't exactly decipher, as if something is on the tip of his tongue and he'll be able to string the sentence together if he bores into Steve's eyes." </p>
<p>An early morning-written attempt at a missing Stucky kiss scene in CACW—takes place after Steve and Bucky have arrived in Siberia and are going to enter the Hydra Winter Soldier compound. [I've never posted a fic on AO3 before and I have no idea what I'm doing. Pls enjoy my terrible writing]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flickered In My Mind for Only You

"Like any great love, it keeps you guessing. Like any real love, it's ever-changing. Like any true love, it drives you crazy. But you know you wouldn't change anything, anything, anything."

-=-=-

They stand in front of the Quinjet's ramp as it lowers and lets the piercing cold in. Bucky is looking at Steve in a way he can't exactly decipher, as if something is on the tip of his tongue and he'll be able to string the sentence together if he bores into Steve's eyes. Steve isn't uncomfortable with this, exactly—he just wants to make things fine between them. He's been thinking the whole flight about how that's a insuperable goal in a world that is out to raze the people who want to protect it. He tries to view things in more than that black and white—but experience has taught him that people are ultimately motivated by agendas that color their characters in a prosaic way.

Bucky is back, but his friends—his family—is locked up. To Bucky, they are strangers, he thinks. That needs to change, gradually. The Avengers assembled because of danger but they stick together because of understanding, trust (if inexorably tested), and even love. Steve knows he would throw his life down for each of them. It would be worth it. That staunch altruism has always been one of his finest flaws, the old Bucky would argue.

Who is the new Bucky? He wants to get to know him. Help him find himself. A home—among them—

Steve snaps out of his thoughts when he realizes Bucky is getting closer. And then he's kissing him. Bucky's lips are on his own, in a chaste way that reflects the deprived time they came from but is also deliberate—a message. Now Steve has to decipher that.

Bucky's startling eyes meet his own again and he's talking.

"I see your face and I know I'm supposed to trust it. And you saved me, you did this for me. And I want to save other people too, with you. But I don't remember it all, Steve. I don't know if you and I were..I don't think we did..but with everything so wrong, in my head, this situation..that felt right. I'm not regretting it. I'm not going to do things I regret anymore because I have control again."

Stunned, Steve listened closely and processes his best friend's admission. 

He knows he needs to clarify the past and provide Bucky with more information, even if it confuses him. He's unimaginably deserving of understanding. Steve meant to help him in any way, every way, when they weren't running for their lives.

But Bucky kissed him. Here, now. 

Steve sees doubt creeping into Bucky's stoic veneer, and he stutters to break the silence, to make it right.

"Buck, we..you and I never were romantic. I'm not saying we couldn't have been..but with everything, with the War, and how thing were back then..I don't think we let ourselves think about it. At least I tried not to. But I can't say I didn't ever picture us that way. No matter what, I'm with you till the end of the line, Buck. I'm your best friend, and that role is never going to leave my mind. Maybe..when we're not running for our lives that's something we can discuss..because I can't say it's something I don't want. But my mind is on what we're facing immediately."

Bucky gives him a tiny nod. The look the brunette gives him now suggests an unsaid question: Is there ever going to be a time when they don't have a target on their back? Or when they're not chasing a target? Are they not soldiers for life?

In that moment, Steve decides that he will fight for another way for them to live. It's a clarification of a impetus that's long been harbored inside of him.

He's never going to let his family go.

And Bucky is close again. A shot of instinct fires in Steve's mind—he wants him closer. This time, Bucky places his flesh hand on Steve's shoulder, and Steve's hand goes to his hip.

Their lips are warm in a way that defies the invasive chill of the Quinjet cabin, pleasurable and right and promising. In that moment, Steve feels lucid clarity. But he isn't thinking about anything: just taking in the soothing moment like it's his last.

Bucky is first to pull away, a light blush ghosted upon his pale, bruised face, and he can't mask a grin that is identical to the ones Steve knew so damn well when they were poor Brooklyn kids. "That was just for good luck. Let's go." He is agreed.

Despite the ridiculous, mostly likely lethal fight feet away from them, Steve quickly beams. They head out into the snow in step.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is this posted on tumblr, along with complaints/meta about how Stucky was portrayed in Captain America: Civil War — http://dayzridley.tumblr.com/post/144781223362/the-missing-cacw-stucky-kiss


End file.
